Smackdown Report - Restraining Order and Bar Wenches

In the same week Vince McMahon booked a match with God, Booker T went out and also took action against another powerful mystical being. Booker filed a class-action restraining order against the Boogey Man. The order is simple; Boogey must stay away from Booker’s closet, the area below his bed and any place involving a wrestling ring or match. Booker being so proud of this piece of legal follow-through went to Teddy Long and showed it to him with a “POW!” sound effect. If Boogey breaks the order, Teddy will also get sued. Holla.

Teddy didn’t waste any time though in proving that all those years being a referee were not wasted when he pulled a joke on Booker and Mrs. T by hitting the Boogey’s Man music during Booker’s match with the unknown Gunner Scott. While Booker searched for his lawyer to set up a court date, Scott rolled him up for the pin and his first win on Smackdown. Long came out and said sorry playa, but the button to Boogey’s music was pushed accidentally. I think a WWE staffer was distracted by the new commercial of America’s Top Model, which took place inside a church – probably the site of Vince’s next match.

Teddy wasn’t done on the night as he would announce the return of the King of the Ring tournament. For those not familiar with the KOR tourney, wrestlers take each other on in tournament until there is only one wrestler remaining. Whether this leads to a title shot is unknown. What is known is that the winner will get to call themselves “King” for 1 whole year!!! Past winners include: King Edge, King Kurt and my favorite the Macho King.

JBL continued to taunt Chris Benoit. Apparently, it wasn’t enough that he took Benoit’s title at Wrestlemania. Now JBL hails himself as a real American hero like Snakes Eyes from G.I. Joe, He-Man or Optimus Prime. The video montage superimposed the stock analyst’s face on Mount Rushmore, thus taking his true place next to those great America Presidents. Not sure if this had any effect on Benoit’s patriotism since he’s a Canadian Crippler and all, but he does now hail from Atlanta, so who knows.

Rey Mysterio after being launched Kevin Nash style into the trailer of world heavyweight championshipness had a successful first defense against Randy Orton. Orton legend kill powers really aren’t that effective if you’re not fighting legend whose 78 years old. Orton was down for the count in his tight tights after receiving every variation of the 619 and even some from different area codes.

Highlight of the Night: Paul Burchill took on mentor William Regal in a loser wears what the other guy wants match. Regal sickened by Burchill’s pirate getup had a Seville Row suit on hand (classy), while Burchill got Regal to agree that if the pirate won, Regal would wear the outfit of a drunk busty bar wench (more classy). Burchill won the encounter so Regal will be serving drinks next week at YAR bar. Make sure to leave a tip in between his busty chest.

Final Note: Undertaker was taken out by a Giant Gonzalez redux look-like.