WWE Raw this week served as a post mortem for Wrestlemania, finally putting away the need to play Peter Gabriel’s “Big Time” for at least another year. The first show after the ‘mania will usually tip us to the new storylines they have down the pike and its sad to report that those new storylines seem oddly familiar, only now they are loonier than a Nathan Jones push.
How so? Will lets go to the big story of the show. HBK comes out to do a victory dance in the ring because of his win against the boss at the Wrestlemania. If you missed the match it consisted of Vince getting beat up, his son’s face shoved up his rectum (true) and being carted away on a stretcher while delivering the middle finger to the victorious Heart Break Kid. HBK thought he was done with Vince – even asking for title shot – but those hopes were dashed as Shane entered to his “Here come the money” song.
Shane declared his father was not well….dead….and brought him out to address Michaels. Now Vince’s power strut walk is a good indicator of how he’s feeling. The power strut walk meter as he came out registered at gimp, which is an improvement of last night’s broken and crippled.
Vince declared Michael’s victory was only through divine intervention and if God didn’t get in the way it would be HBK standing there with the neck brace, robot voice and the emotional scars of having your son’s face shoved up your poop chute. So for the next ppv – Backlash – Vince booked a tag match. Not just any tag match but Vince and Shane vs. HBK and God. Yup the all mighty creator, Yahweh, 1/3 of the holy trinity and Da Man. Hopefully, Vince has learned from past fights between God and Satan and overcomes the creator, which would bring forth Cthulhu I think.The other highlight of the night was the introduction of Omanga. Now Omanga is not a big deal. He’s your standard Samoan wrestler with Rikishi/Islander move set. His manager though is golden. ARMAAAAAAANNNNDO ALEJANDROOOOOOOO ESTRAAAAADA. His character is that of a Cuban wrestling manager. Being of Cuban descent, I was never more proud for my heritage. Setting up the 16 time world heavyweight champ Ric Flair for the crush job, Estrada noted that he used to watch Flair or at least I think he did through the Cuban accent, on a brooooookenn down TV with da rabbit ears and da aluminum foil. Flair responded by calling him a crazy island jumping Cuban. ESTRAAAADA after declaring his love for “dinero” brought out Omanga who then ass squashed the nature boy.
In the main event, the still heavyweight champ John Cena wrestled in a handicap match between Edge and HHH. If you missed Mania, you were spared the most ridiculous entrances in professional wrestling history as HHH came out on a King’s throne (because he’s the king of kings, oh wait isn’t that guy booked for a tag match at Backlash?) while John Cena came out dressed as a Al Capone styled gangster w/ tommy gun (its Chicago get it…..no….yeah).
WWE stresses Cena as a new kind of champ, who old school wrestling fans dislike. The company missed the mark on this one because old school might as well apply to just about anyone since the Cena is booed harder than the Boo Berry Ghost. HHH got the better of champ being there this night, by swerving edge and pedigree Cena in a 2 second time period. Score one for the wrestling aristocrat.
Other highlights included Kane and the Big Show losing the tag belts to the spirit squad though some heavy duty cheerleading and Micki James showing she’s crazy by dressing like Trish Stratus. Check out WWE.com for full results, some diva pictures and a ESTRADDDDDA bio.
And Chavo quit, good day
Eddie
2 comments:
Chavo quit? Right after that heartfelt speech he gave at the WWE Hall of Fame induction ceremony on behalf of Eddie Guerrero? Did they try and make him renounce his Mexican heritage again?
Chavo declared that RAW would be his wrestlemania!!! Rey fulfilled his dream by becoming the smallest world heavyweight champion ever, now its Chavo's turned to win the Intercontential Belt. Yeah , not the same.
Chavo summoned the ghost of Eddie, evoke his image, but still lost to Sheldon Benjamin. Chavo upset, regrouped himself backstage and quit. I expect to see him back next week riding a lawn mower to the ring.
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