D.O.A.

He arrived in the ring wearing tethered flannel. His face blue, like the life had been sucked out of him.

He had been through much. Death, rebirth and new found life, only to find himself here - in front thousands. Women, men and even children looked on in amusement as he grabbed the microphone. Knowing that the circumstances of his return were staged and carried out.

This was his moment to shine. To show the world that he was not just a gimmick. He took the microphone, raised to his lips and said...................

URAGGHAGHGAHGHGHGHFRLUYHFFFHGAHGHA

He was then sticked....to death.

By a very mean drunk.

How's that for drama. That was the fate of "The Zombie" this week, but it also represented the fate of ECW. Bet you didn't see that analogy coming like a Mack truck did you.

ECW held their returned to wrestling rings this past Sunday with the second One Night Stand. This time apparently they got the reach around at the end.

The One Night Stand was a solid PPV. Sure the matches weren't much to cry home about (TAZ vs. Lawler), but the ECW always had one thing no other promotion had - bat shit crazy wrestling fans willing to scream obscenities at wrestlers for 3 hours. Now that's what my friend who invited me to see this PPV was paying for.

The match of the night, in my book, was the Funk-Dreamer Connection vs. The Foley-R rated Superstar Express. You got Dreamer beaten to a pulp. Funk yelling "My EYE, MY EYE, sonofitch took my EYE!!!!" Foley lit on fire and sent crashing through a barbwire board, where he joined sometimes dad-the funker. CAT FIGHT!!!!!!!! CAT FIGHT!!!!!!!! between Beulah and Lita, and Edge scoring the win by ass pounding Dreamer's wife. Fun.

RVD vs. Cena was what it was. Though you may never be able to remake the love the fans have for Cena. Sure they threw his shirt back every time he threw it back out into the crowd, but look at this way- it was shoddy merchandise to begin with. I was surprised that no left a Cleveland steamer in there between the hustle and loyalty font design.

Rey Mysterio vs the homicidal genocidal particidal leprechauncidal Sabu was interesting if you like chairs being used as lightsabers, but if your best ending is a high pitch doctor saying they're done you should go back to the planning chart. Nash can draw it for you. More on that later.

Throw in some alright matches between the FBI/Tajiri-Supercrazy pairing and Balls Mahoney vs. Tanaka in a chairoff and you had a good return to action for the defunk ECW.

Now take all that good will. Pleasent memories, and say goodbye to them now. Cause this promotion dropped it down the toliet, like Kevin Sullivan's head in that WCW anywhere goes match with Chris Benoit, when it debuted on the Sci-Fi channel this past Tuesday.

First thing. It was filmed during Smackdown. In a big ass arena with fans who couldn't care less. Not the bat shit crazies explained above, but the little guys who like Cena and leprechauns. So the juice of the PPV was gone.

Two - No roster. What are there 7 guys and Starman from Nintendo Pro Wrestling? They were all in the battle royale from hell with people swinging dumb WWE hardcore weapons. (Where are the staples guns and New Jack). Sabu won the honors by tossing out the Big Show. His prize to face John Cena at the next PPV. Yes you saw that on Raw last week but now you can pay for it. Good for you.

Three - If you hire a stripper, make sure she can strip. That bra was padlocked together. Better yet don't include this dumbass waste of 3 minutes. Only komowannalaya should dance on top of the ECW arena and it ends there. Unless course the girl gets piledrived by Pitbull#2.

Four - It's an hour show, I don't need 23 commercial breaks. If you stop it, I might watch Android Apocalyse.

Will ECW get its act together. Maybe. Oh wait a Gangrel promo, guess not.

Ok enough of WWE I'm disgusted, but on a sidenote DX came back.


Yeah, I know since they were always wrestling together in the same promotion its like they never left. Now they do the that crotch thing and such..........yeah.

TNA has now become the Kevin Nash's show of exposition. Nash's plan which is diagramed on poster paper in colorful markers, detail the destruction of the X-Division by revealing that it can not stand up to the might of Big Daddy Cool.

Remeber to Nash, cruiserweights are meant to be used like harpoons on trailers not to steal valuable PPV time when it can be used to gang up on some guy and spray NWO on his back.


That gets a WHOA!!!! From Alex Shelly!

The King of the Mountain match is settled with the man called Sting taking the final slot after Scott Steiner was disqualified in their matchup for JJ interferance.

Steiner was angry with the heave ho said he wasn't leaving the ring unless someone made him. Unfortunately a Samoa Joe match was next and Joe thought Steiner was interrupting his kill jobber time. The two exchanged eyeball time until they started mixing it up and then the security came to break it up.

Highlight of the Week - Kevin Nash's 3 steps to life!!! WHOA!!!