Come Back Here!!!!!

Now that you’ve stuffed yourself with hamburgers and hotdogs in remembrance of veterans by barbecuing meat let’s look over the week that was in pro-televised wrestling. Highlights included a highly intellectual debate between Paul Heyman and Mick Foley over the direction of Extreme Wrestling, Booker T being officially crowned King, the firing of uber-america loving heel JBL and yes that was a midget in a leprechaun suit.

The Heyman and Foley exchange was the standout point from RAW. The two discussed what the extreme wrestling high marks were with Foley pointing to his match with Edge as being the gleaming light in the valley of darkness that is Hardcore. Of course no on mentioned light tube matches and staples guns so their points of reference were a bit off.

Heyman would go into full spoiler mode declaring that RVD would 1). Beat Cena for the title at One Night Stand, 2). Throw the title in the dumpster ala The Franchise Shane Douglass and 3). Christened the new ECW world title belt like it was a sailboat.

Mr. Paul E. Dangerously wasn't done there though. He had one more trick up his cordless phone. He announced that he would receive a draft pick for ECW from RAW and Smackdown. He gave away the RAW pick by saying it was RVD. He boasted though of how the Smackdown pick would represent the “new ECW”, and that he was here now!!! Oh the drama!

Out from the back comes hardcore legend and standup suplex machine Kurt Angle?????????. The Olympian storms into the ring and like a deer in headlights, Foley’s wrestling move set is reduced to zero as Angle (sporting a mouthpiece that read VIOLENCE) suplex him around the square circle. So now ECW has its new TAZ to represent the new ECW, which we hope will be like the old ECW.

Owner and part-time deity Vince McMahon, gave the other RAW announcement on the night. McMahon put to an end the search for a new general manager to replace the Bish and just named himself - Big guy in charge. The big guy does need help so the Coach will serve as his assistant in on camera booking and in being a sledgehammer magnet for HHH. We wish the Coach luck with the new title.

On Smackdown, JBL was furious that small man champ Rey Mysterio defeated him to retain the World Heavyweight belt. So much so, that he was baited into becoming the fighting man champ for the US belt by Rey. Rey in his first time gig as booker introduced Lashley, who torpedoed JBL out of his belt and pants.

JBL now doubly upset and belt and maybe pantless asked GM Teddy Long for a re-match with small man champ. Which was granted if JBL promised to quit if he lost. JBL not scared of the prospect of having to wrestle in TNA, took up the offer. The end result saw history repeating itself as Mysterio defeated the CNBC stock analyst sending him to unemployment line or god willing ECW. New Jack staple gun match here I come.

Now in case you were watching Smackdown or saw the above picture for today's post - Finley has his own Leprechaun now. After defeating the Paul Birchhill aka the Pirate guy, the little rascal comes from underneath the ring and starts pummeling on the Pirate's corpse. Finley pulls him off and throws him back under the ring. Then to commercial. Why? Explanations = 0.

On the TNA side- Prince of a very small hill round robin continued to see who would get into the King of the Mountain match. Monty Brown having returned from the Serengeti looking for more sport was matched against K-Quick. Quick attempted dance around the snarling Brown until Monty made the mistake of the missing the THE POUNCE and getting rolled up for the pin. Quick now joins Abyss and champ Christian in the King of the very big mountain match.

Highlight of the week: Steven Regal's coronation of King T. He has a scepter too.