All Hail King T

The WWE is hitting that after-wrestlemania low note that only they could provide as the spotlight feuds are missing a few beats. Okay they are also missing rhythm, jive, or any reason to watch.

This past Sunday’s Judgment Day ppv did have one high point. That point is that I get to write about KING BOOKER T! He is the five times, five times, five times, five times, five times WCW champion…and now he has a crown too.

Booker defeated Lashley to earn the coronation bid with some help from Queen Sharmell and Kingly Advisor Finlay. Being a man of action, King T decided his crowning should take place after the match, so that the people could adore and witness the beginning of his royal reign. Lashley being a sore loser in his coup attempt pulled off a Popeye by couldn’t standing what he couldn’t stand no more and speared his royal highness in his robe and crown right through his throne. King T would have unleashed his royal guard on the scalawag Lashley but was not conscious to do so.

JBL’s feud with the small man champ came to head as the main event for the ppv. JBL has become the great talking heel. He wears American Flag jackets that make him look like those knockoff Action Man toys you find at the dollar store, he talks about how he will make Rey’s son boot lick his expensive shoes, make his wife wear short Latino dresses and stiletto shoes (he likes those) while cooking his dinner and have Rey become a drug dealer. Nice guy, no?

JBL has also dispatched an army of BIG MAN (Mark Henry and the Great Khali) wrestlers to take out small man champ. Which they did. The beating Rey sustained had no effect as he won his title against the Great American Hero. To little fanfare, unless you’re Chavo Guerro who ran to the ring and pointed to the sky, where Eddie Guerro looked down and nodded and said “I’m bored”.

On the RAW side of things, the feuds are generating little interest for me, as the force-feeding of the Spirit Squad is getting tiresome. The main event saw HBK facing all five members of the Squad with HHH as backup who was looking to make amends for crushing Shane’s face with a sledgehammer for the big boss. So what amounted to a fight from Dragon Ball Z with HBK playing the part of Goku, saw him beating up five guys till he was hit by Kenny’s best leg drop in the business. HHH then came out with hammer in tow.

Kenny yelled at HHH to deliver the deathblow and then grabbed his hammer. Only those who are worthy can grab the hammer of Thor and HHH said to me my hammer and pedigreed the rest of the squad.

Looks like we got a main event for the ECW ppv. RVD cashed his money in the bank against Cena for the event cause he felt he is getting screwed over by the WWE. Well duh. So at One Night Stand you will have the benchmark for no wrestling all show knuckle shuffle versus the heavily popular icon who comes out to Pantera music. How will Cena be greeted at the Hammerstein Ballroom, with lots of love probably?

TNA last week also announced their version of King of Ring, with champ Christian Cage going in the King of the Mountain match. It’s a big mountain as Monty Brown, Jarrett, Sting, Abyss, Rhino, Raven, Scott Steiner and K Quick all want in the four-man match. Qualifier for the prince of the small hill started last week as Abyss earned his spot taking out Rhino.

Samoa Joe also explained why he turned his back on Sting in the last ppv by crushing someone. That’s as much explanation I needed. I would have also accepted cause I’m Samoa Joe.