Lie Detecting

Well after a week of no updating, I have returned to the blog to bring you some more silly developments in the world of non-collegiate pro wrestling.

I'm not the only one returning this week, the WWE came back to Madison Square Garden, the birthplace of big arena wrestling, to present this week's RAW and ECW shows.

Now I usually take a cynical position on these things, but to prove that I believe what I am saying, I am hooking myself up to the Lie Dect-a-tron 4000, in order to give you the straight lowdown, which is about as interesting as watching Jeff Hardy watch paint dry.

After bringing in lie detecting consult Eric Young, whose on the level, I should pass this thing easily.

Dect-a-tron 4000: Lie

One week before the Unforgiven PPV and the exciting storylines of DX vs.the McMahons and John Cena/Edge have hit a outstanding high point crescendo.

Dect-a-tron 4000: Lie. The feuds are now as exciting as a Koko B Ware match inside War Games. Which come to think of it is pretty cool when you think about it.

RAW started out with the human punching bag Ric Flair, taking some well deserved bows for styling and profiling since the dinosaurs. This cued Umaga's Cuban manager to HA HA his boy into another match with Flair. Of course, this turned into the WWE's version of "Stomp" with Flair taking the place of the stage and the garbage cans.

Before Umaga could utter any more fake man-monster nah's and ugh's, classic man-monster Kane arrived to deal out some punishment. After trading blows with a seating device, Umaga stood victorious and also had the ability to sit down if he liked.

This sets up gimmick match #1 for Unforgiven. Kane vs Umaga in right to be called "monster" match. The winner gets to be called monster and make straight to DVD films for the Sci-Fi channel until their monster title is stripped. Exciting.

Dect-a-tron 4000: Lie

The DX/McMahon feud will hopefully, for the love of god, end this Sunday. Vince boasted of his legacy at MSG pointing out how his spot on the walk of fame has dividers because "No one walks on Vincent Kennedy McMahon", not even his son-in-law- HHH.

90 minutes later HHH is beaten to a pulp by the aid of the rest of the locker room and Vinnie Mac salutes the sales of his new DVD.

This sets up gimmick match #2 - The McMahons and honorary McMahon - The Big Show face DX in a hell in the cell match. The Big Show will likely take the high bump by falling into a truck of manure.

Dect-a-tron 4000: Truth!

By the looks on Edge face, he must still be feuding with John Cena. Yes, his anguish is my anguish as the never ending struggle between the R-rated superstar and the Marine continues. This week they were part of a 3-man tag match which wasn't very interesting unless you like to watch Jeff Hardy get beat up.

Gimmick Match #3 - Cena vs Edge - tables, ladders and chairs! If Cena loses he goes to Smackdown. So prepare to watch the Marine, fight the Vito in a dress and have Michael Cole, as Edge puts it, continue his man-crush.

Dect-a-tron 4000: Truth! He will most likely fight the leprechaun.

Nice to see Chris Masters is back and looking as masterpiecish as ever.
Dect-a-tron 4000: Big time Lie!

Trish Status had her last match on RAW, as she wrestled Nicki James in a classic contest.
Dect-a-tron 4000: Truth!

She will be missed after Unforgiven, setting up gimmick match #4 - Trish wins - she quits - Trish loses - she quits - win- win for the fans

Dect-a-tron 4000: explodes.


Looks like Eric Young guidance has failed me and my lie detector test machine. At least I don't share the fate of Jeff Jarrett who was informed last week that as a result of his lie detector failure he must get whipped by the fans and killed by Samoa Joe. That will show him for not booking more Norman Smiley!


On a side note, loving the Cryme Tyme!

Highlight of the Week - Paul Heyman admitting that he had to turn ECW into a sellout shill of its former self in order to book a show at the Garden. Let's hear it for vampires, helmeted goons, fired teachers, the reject, and Test matches!