Change the Channel

ECW/WWE continues to be the Two-Face of fake wrestling. Like the great Batman villain whose split personality was decided on the flip of a coin, ECW's continues to be god awful, while being really entertaining all at the same time.

Case in point - Batista vs.Big Show main evented this week's card with a BIG MAN A POOZLA match. The first person to hammer his opponent with a BIG ARM SMASH would be the winner. These slow lumbering colossuses engaged each other with speed of a turtle mixed with the agility of a whale. The fans knew what was ahead of them: punches, elbow drops and moving out of the corner as your opponent tries to squish you.

They responded by chanting "Same Old Shit!!!" and "Change the Channel". Yes, like people led to execution, the audience at the ECW taping did there best to warn you. In the end, Sabu would interfere to the surprise of no one, allowing Batista to escape with his pride and knowledge that he's going to be wrestling Mrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr. Kennedy in the near future.

Kenneddddddy!!!!!!!!!

Now on to the good of ECW, CM Punk debuted and had a wrestling match filled with wrestling moves. The Brooklyn Brawler made his return to the ring after cleaning up the streets- Brawler style. BB said that it was his destiny to become the ECW champ for this was new era, a new dawn of a new,....Kurt Angle's music?. As Angle approached the ring, the Brawler's head exploded into blood as he tried to look over the WWE's retirement plan. Once in Angle lock the Brawler's leg detached from his socket as Angle waved the mutilated appendage from one end of the ring to other. God bless the Brooklyn Brawler, we salute your talent enhancement skills. By the way how does someone from Brooklyn root for the Yankees.

RAW is silly this week was highlighted by the epic face down between Mick Foley and the Nature Boy. Foley introduced by gal pal Melena stated that in no way would he fight Ric Flair. Nope. Nada. No will do. It only took a few cheap pops to get the Nature Boy out of the back.

Seething with anger and what looked to rabies, Ric called out Foley, and did some elbow drops on to the imaginary opponent on the mat to everyone's delight. Cactus would have the last word though as he recounted to Flair the night Ric called his children to tell them that he loved them because you just never know with planes.

Foley said he would never be able to show that degree of love for his children. He could never pick up the phone with Dewy and say "Son, Your father is in prison". Flair then went from a 10 to that last degree Spinal Tap had on their amps. Reduced to some sort of caveman gargle, flair demanded Foley to a Punjabi prison match or a slap-a-thon he didn't care. Flair wishes would be answered by Coach but once again shot down by a still not wrestling Dude Love.

The rest of RAW was pretty much 1.5 hours of the acronym brothers HBK and HHH making fun of the McMahons. Showing off baby pictures of HHH's new offspring, what kind no talent twit would find comedy in that? (See last week's post).

We also had....

Randy's Road to Rapin.....I'm mean Dating Hogan's Daughter
Step 3 - Create your own reality show and beat up your future girlfriend's family!

Randy so relished his decimation of the acting troop#PS 139 that he even put a cherry on top by making out with the doppelganger of the girl he wants to date? Okay?

TNA has a good feud going with the Samoa Joe/Monty Brown/Rhino love triangle. Brown called Joe a hippophant (a mixture between elephant and a hippo, which by the way is now my new favorite animal, next to the Giger! (Giraffe + Tiger) and declared there was no room in the Serengeti for Hippopants and Rhinos or Gigers. They just deserve.....THE....POOOOOUUUUUUUUUNNNNNCE...PEROID. Somebody call National Geographic!

Highlight of the Week - Madagascar wrestlers and Kevin Nash = classic youtubing.