The Foreign Object: You Can Check In, But You Can't Check Out

Much to my surprise this week, new world champ with the spinny belt Edge, did not celebrate his second title reign with a public display of getting it on with the miss Lita. Instead, we were treated to a lifestyles of the rich and famous segment with the new champ showing off how the better half lives in four star hotels and the bars that accompany those four star hotels.

Edge took advantage of the all the world champ perks by abusing the hotel help. Little did he know that he would become the full embodiment of The Who's drummer Keith Moon when he ordered the hotel's soup du jour -cream of John Cena. Cena, already angry over Edge's play by play call of his match with Sheldon Benjamin from the R-Rated superstar announce table (no need to hit the SAP button on your remote), pummeled the world champ till he'd checked out.

Though learning that Edge likes orange drinks is nice, it wouldn't be a RAW without a hour plus of the DX comedy tour. Well surprise of all surprises - HHH and HBK pretty much took the show off, appearing only in the final five minutes to see the helpless Eugene score a win over Vince McMahon. A fitting payback, I think to Vinny Mac and Shane covering Eugene in green slime and flushing his head down the toilet. Though Eugene rebounded his career and dignity are still at the bottom of that bowl.

So without an hour plus of HHH or HBK you got.

hmmmmmmmmmm...okay?

and.....

Miiiiiiiiiiiizzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

I haven't commented on the Miz for fear my head would explode from stupidity. The Miz is the head announcing cheerleader ass for Smackdown. The ultimate mark who gives the fans a preview of Smackdown's oh so great quality matches. In other words, the man blows his load on Mark Henry main events. Now we can digest him on RAW for the infernal Diva search challenge. I now wish I can flush my head down the potty along with Eugene.

Speaking of Smackdown, Batista returned and powered up to Super Sayian level 4.

Mark Henry answered Dave's cries of revenge for crippling him a couple months back, costing him the title and main eventing against Mark Henry. What a loss. Cue the Miz blowing his load. Before Mark Henry can say "Listen here fool I..........." He was beaten bloody by Devon Dudley's favorite deacon.

Beatings were the norm on ECW, where the Big Show defended his title against Ric Flair. Ric Flair who has never not made a big deal of chopping that giant down was also beaten to a pulp. This is par for the course for the Nature Boy, who has been receiving beatings since the Beatles were in vogue.

Flair would come on strong at the end, employing the blunt edge of a barb wired baseball bat and dropping the Big Show on a puddle of tacks. OUCH!!!! The Big Champ scored the win by choking slamming Flair onto the tacks. Flair was escorted out the ring with the help of an archeology group studying lost mummies as the crowd chanted "Thank You, Flair!" for a job well done.

In TNA, Kevin Nash refuses to disappoint. His plan to destroy the X-Division continued when he tied up Chris Sabin in a body bag and brought out his corpse to the ring for mocking. Nash said from his corporate meeting room equipped with a blackboard and table straight out the headquarters of the Justice League of America, that the bodybag represented the ultimate humiliation and that there was no recovering from it. It's a gimmick we haven't seen in like................2 whole weeks. Right on, Big Kev. In the ring, Nash pleaded for his 2 million dollar reward stating that he had bagged Osma Bin Laden. Instead it was just Sabin Bin Laden. Sabin would be rescued Jay Lethal as Nash would go on to freedom fight another day.

TNA did end this week with the usual nonsense of Sting fighting Double J. Sting yelled "Jarrett you are a cancer. You are tumor and I will remove you!!!" He then applied the Scorpion death lock just before my DVR ended it. The image on my screen was of Sting crapping on Jarrett. Yup, you guessed it I hit erase on the menu.

And in case you missed it Ron "The Truth" Killings put out a music video. Enjoy.