December to Not Remember at All

Man accidentally Orders ECW PPV, Reports are he's Pissed
South Plainfield, NJ - It was going to be an ordinary Sunday night for James Roberts. He had just finished watching 6 straight hours of football. He was awaiting his usual pizza deliverly order, and was going to polish off a great night with a viewing of some skin flick on Playboy PPV. That's when his night took a dark and sinister turn for the worst.

"I just um realized that I didn't order that Briana Banks movie, but order something called December to Dismember!!!!!"

Realizing his mental miscue, Roberts tried to undue the damage (and probably his pants) by calling the cable company to beg and plead them not to charge the astonishing 39.95 this event cost.

It was all for naught as the damage was done. Roberts trying to make the best out of bad situation tried to watch the heinous pay per view. He was left broken beaten and un-entertained. The only thing that could console him was the stale Taco Bell Chicken Quesdilla in his fridge.

The above story is a cautionary one, but it goes to show you most people would rather eat a stale ecoli drenched taco then to acknowledge the crap that was the ECW ppv.

Let's go to the breakdown chart:

Nope that's not good at all.

The ppv was highlighted with the introduction of the "extreme" elimination chamber, featuring "pods" holding weapons such as a chair, barb wired baseball bat, etc. This match was to feature the company's main talent such as the Sunday night heat players, RVD and the guy they just brought in from Smackdown cause they had an available pod for booking. Lashley fit that bill and he spent most of the match being locked in his pod.

Using his hulk like strength, Lashley broke from pod and beat up the only guy left in the ring, the Big Show aka the champ aka the giant aka the ogre guy in King Book ka's court on smackdown. Lashley then joined Batista in being the same wrestler to hold two different belts. By the same wrestler, I mean bodybuilder and talentless.

All this in under 2 hours and 15 minutes. WOW! That's like a episode of RAW without the Highlander match. To cap it all off the bookers decided to pull a bait and switch by giving Sabu the night off just cause, so that Bob Holly could be in the chamber. Why? Cause the people love race car drivers. I don't know!

It wasn't all bad. Fan favorite CM Punk was eliminated from the chamber in less than 3 minutes and the exhibition girl got a divorce from Mike Knox, when Knox left her high and dry in the ring. They made up the next night and he pulverize her for it again.

OK so it was all bad!

No doubt RAW can take away the taste of a ecoli flavored wrestling show out of mouth?

Nope

Just more of same with Umaga clashing with Cena after a masterlock challenge for the title, followed by the usual sight of DX acting like Jay and Silent Bob.

At least Kenny survived the Spirit Squad mailing scam of last week. He wanted to prove himself to Team Rated RKOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO, cause with just the two of them they are just powerful, but with Kenny they would be unstoppable!!!! He was right. Sort of? Together Kenny may have survived the eventual finishing move buffet he received from DX at the end of RAW.

Highlight of the Week

Due to December to Dismember being well god awful. The WWE dismissed Paul Heyman. Please note, Heyman did not book the PPV for he is only a TV personality. McMahon with pants fully around his ankles commented that the real elimination chamber is his board room. Zing!


Heyman security goons though are still fully employed and apparently faceless. Whew I was getting nervous there for a second.