Carted Away

A trend transpired on RAW this week as lots of people were getting carted away. Usually, this trend is to demonstrate the dominance of your opponent and propel his rise on the pop-o-meter 3000. Going beyond squishing or staring at the lights, being carted away has its own type of demeaning value that screams: I suck, why are you watching, or don't cry for me- for I am already dead.

Or in the case of Bobby Lashley, I'm going to take a few months off. Go figure, gravity had to catch up to his arms sometime. This tragedy started when Mr.................................Kenneee....aw screw it, fought the roid machine. Lashley went through his regular array of power slams and fox trots, but Kennedy realizing his pop was fading faster than his money in the bank status, went to work on Lashley's shoulder. Then the match just ended. A win for Kennedy with Lashely crying like he was hit by semi.

Take him away boys.

In case you were wondering if we live in a free society, The King "Jerry Lawler" fought The King "Booker" in a "I'm the King around here Match" officiated by the Burger King. The two monarches of the squared circle fought to a no decision. This leaves the door open for king fest at this year's Summerslam featuring Booker, Lawler, Harley Race, the Macho King, King of Kings HHH and the Lord of the Rings - Sauron.

John Cena is in full twiddling thumbs mode after beating Lashley and being informed that he would have to fight Randy Orton at Summerslam. Bored, he decided to take an early vacation, chill out on a lounge chair and challenge Carlito. Though he didn't win due to inteference from Orton, Cena felt refreshed after having chewed apple spit into face by the kid with the fro from "The Boondocks". That' ain't Gangsta!

Speaking of Orton, he produced carted celebrity number two in the form of Sgt. Slaughter. Seems a good old to kick to the head of old Sarge was enough to send fellow GI Joe member First Aid to the ring to take him away.

Save me Maggot!

Highlight of the Week: It was love....indian style for the Great Khali and he showed his newly kept world heavyweight championship with a full Bollywood movie dance party. (Please notice the non-Indian blond lady in the left hand corner of the picture). Bollywood movies are know for their high degree of craft and professionalism like so:


The party would be spoiled by film hater Batista "The Animal", who scared away the dancers with a snarl and then took out Khali with a spear. He then went into a full on dance number, singing how he was the top animal in the pack as dancers on ropes converged into the ring in animal garb.