Undertaken

With Wrestlemania around the corner, I thought I drop in with an atomic elbow drop from the top rope. These will be short and sweet this week so let's get to the festivities:

World Heavyweight Championship - Batista a.k.a the Animal vs. The Undertaker a.k.a dead and loving it!

The storyline of this match is obviously the fact the Undertaker has not lost at Wrestlemania... well ever. His win record at this overhyped ppv is 456-0. That's not dominance that's slaughter by way close lines, big boots, choke slams, that funny stretchy submit move which didn't catch on, last rides and tombstones. The guy doesn't even get DQ. Of course, I'm not sure that can happen since most of the those matches ended up with the monster of the week being buried alive in some form or another.

So what can Batista do to keep the title that smells of Ric Flair sweat? I suggest go into the ring, stare down the Undertaker's dead cold eyes, wait for the bell to ring, and go outside and tell Lillian Garcia, the ring announcer, to swing a chair at him! Hopefully the Ref DQ's you and you stay on to guest star on Smallville as the big guy from the Phantom Zone or Rory's new boyfriend on Gilmore Girls. Wear flannel big guy!

Winner: The Undertaker - At Wrestlemania, Taker's squatch match powers are so great he summons his dark forces to open a portal into hell. The hole of the damn lies in center of the ring as Batista is tombstone into it. Before the weak and pudgy referee is sucked into it, the portal closes and he hands Taker the belt.

Tomorrow, I discuss the socio economic ramifications of the Money in the Bank Ladder Match.